Living with someone who is depressed

My husband has a decades long bout with depression. Currently he is in deep trouble. He quit taking his medication. On one hand, this is admirable because it took a great deal of determination to do this. And decades on anti-depressants is a scary thought. But now he is a depressed mess. He doesn’t have a doctor/ professional he is talking to. And here’s what it’s like to deal with him:

• He’s very irritable. Everything makes him annoyed.


• He’s very negative. He puts a negative spin on everything.


• He’s paranoid. Everything that I do is somehow personal, limited, at least something to make him feel bad, if not worse.


• He’s very trapped in a personal world. He interprets things very personally. If he feels bad, then folks are hurting him. If he can see no other view, there is no other view. If you talk about yourself, you are being selfish.


• He’s paralyzed by his misery. Nothing matters. Nothing is good. Nothing can be done.


• If you are silent, you are ignoring him. If you agree, you are patronizing. If you speak and don’t agree, you are arguing.


• No one loves him. No one cares. No ones understands. Nothing matters.

If you read any book about depression, you’ll see a set of symptoms emerging here. I’ve not exhausted the story.

He is a sweet man whose depression overwhelms the sweet, smart, quirky, kind, funny man I have seen and love. Occasionally I still glimpse this man.